I don't want your.... Photograph.

At first glance, you may look at this black on white collection of photo frames and think... wow, where's all the color? This is dreary.

But in the words of rock ancients:

Huh!

Photograph... I don't want your
Photograph... I don't need your
Photograph... All I've got is a photograph, but its not enough

If you still feel like seeing Def Leppard in concert, you are lucky - they are still touring.

In the meantime, regardless of what past you may be trying to hide or showcase, these nifty set of frame sure brings things to life in a hurry. Only at Red Envelope.

I am a Red Hot Baby Orchid

Ahhh.  It may sound like the title of a new Gwen Stefani song, but it conjures visions of the swank luxury of a 5 star suite, or a red Lamborgaini as it creeps out of the million dollar homes in LA.

Needless to say, this little plant packs a punch. I am self-admittedly not a flower person, nor do I enjoy gardening or anything like that (although  I do like fresh fruit), but this is a plant that I would buy and proudly showcase on the end-table in my living room.   

You may ask why.

• It looks really cool
• It has a green powder type of base that I find strangely attractive
• It looks vaugley like a duck, and I used to raise ducks one winter with some friends in Minneapolis when they had nowhere else to go. 

Bottom line though – a very cool and sexy plant, for both guys and girls – it make me want to go see that movie The Spirit.

Nurturing your true Love-Hate relationship.

Guys like to play golf because:

A – They think that they actually good at it. You are good only if you can beat this 12 year-old girl, who is on-track to make more money than Lebron James

B – They need something to spend abnormal amounts of money on and to complain about before and after for the next month

C – Golf is a great excuse for day drinking, as beer is proven to be a natural performance enhancer. Co-incidentally, this can also exponentially increase the fun of parallel activities such as golf carts, heckling your buddies, reshaping nonperforming clubs, and maintaining your balance.

Anyway - regardless of why you are playing to win, playing to play, or playing to drink, you will need a set of clubs. And why not honor your long-standing tradition of missing putts, bogeying par 3s, and slicing the ball at every opportunity by getting some engraved golf club links from Red Envelope for your clubs.

Let’s face it. Those clubs you spent your last month’s paycheck on are probably not going to help you as much as promised – if any. So if you’re trying to get a stand-out set, why not opt for the other end of the club and go with these.

At least they won’t get lost – unless you pack like you drive.

Enjoy!

Valentine's Gifts: Stupidly Simple Guide for Men

Men are paralyzed by the thought of buying gifts for women. We knuckle-draggers have no idea what to do. If you're in a bind and don’t know what to give to your special someone for Valentine’s Day, then you’ve come to the right place.

We suggest that you get a little adventurous and shop at RedEnvelope. Follow our playbook and you’ll have 3 romantic, sexy, & fun gifts to make this holiday great… and all for around $125.

1. Start with chocolate to massage her senses and delight her soul. Ok – liquor is quicker, but chocolate is a nice way to start out a romantic evening. Prince Frog Chocolates combines the charm of the holiday with some unique sweets. I’d mention how you have matured from a lowly frog into her adored prince or some such… $34.95

2. Onto something fun to liven up the night. We have a playful way to get closer to her. Pewter Get-Lucky Dice – with a roll of the dice, you will be given step by step instructions on how to spice up foreplay. Without foreplay, you get no play. This is a solid investment. $34.95

3. Bling for your encore to melt her heart and express your love (or lust). We suggest that you select appropriately, based on your situation.

Friends with benefits ......... Friendship Leaf Necklace $69.95
Have cash, will spend ........ Diamond Eternity Necklace $149.95

Gentlemen, we’ve made gifting for Valentine’s mind-numbingly easy. Our guide sets the mood, starts the romantic interlude, and leads you to the land of milk and honey.

*** If you are light on cash but want to have do something special, then here's what you put together for around $50:

- Buy $19.99 Roses from ProFlower
- Get some Chocolate Body Frosting $29.95
- Pick up a bottle of Two-Buck Chuck ... use your imagination.

Good luck!

What would Leon Phelps do for Valentine's Day

I have a feeling that Valentine's Day has special meaning for Leon Phelps - "The Ladies Man". A connoisseur of all things relating to fine liquor, romance, and women with curves, he is an American Icon.

Moreover, he has inspired a generation to be better lovers and appreciate all versions of the female form. As you might recall, Leon aimed his the lionshare of his affection towards Ms. Delta Burke.

Leon is also known for dispensing great lovemaking advice and usually centering romantic interludes around sipping his coveted Courvoisier. However, I have a feeling that he would be willing to substitute his Courvoisier for Chocolate Body Frosting at RedEnvelope.

If you need to spice things up with your partner, then applying this edible chocolate body art should do the trick. This is perfect for Valentine's Day and retails for $30. There are G, PG, and R-rated versions of the body frosting. (maybe not)

To quote Leon: "Um, yeah... that's gooood!!". Pick up some body frosting by clicking here.

Mojo Appreciated

"Where did my mojo go?"

Have you ever asked yourself that? Or maybe you woke up one morning, and you realized that you've almost forgotten how to have fun...

You know that's more true for some of us than for others, but one thing is for sure - you CAN forget to have fun. Sometimes you need to inject a heavy level dose of romance into your relationship.

Well, if you've got somebody to play with, then these Get Lucky Dice are a great choice for Valentine's Day. Maybe get a couple bottles of wine to go along with it. I've never played personally, but these things just sound fun. Click here for some fun.

Chocolate fortune cookies - romance in a sweet.

Gentlemen - if you have an adventurous spirit, and you like Chinese tradition, and you need a great Valentine's day gift, then you're in luck. Depending on what cookie you crack, these Chocolate Fortune Cookies make a great gift for your sweetie.

From the Red Envelope website - "Your love life is about to take a turn for the interesting". Who doesn't want that? Love is like a river that needs to be navigated... you don't know where the waterfalls are, they just kind of show up... fortunately for you, RedEnvelope brings those waterfall moments to you in a nicely wrapped box so that you don't have to wait.

Aren't you excited, ha ha.

But on a genuine note, these really are pretty cool, and a great buy for the price (They sell for $25). It's classy, original, and probably most importantly, engaging.

Ok, so your girlfriend probably wants a Tiffany's bracelet, but these can make for a good time. A great combination of chocolate, good fortune, and a little who-knows-what.

And for the girls - this is dangerous in your hands... I'm not sure I can sanction you buying it.

There's a new Gecko in town

There is a crowned frog prince selling at RedEnvelope; it's an interesting item. I'm not sure why somebody wants this, and what would they do with it once they got it?

However, it's one of the best sellers at RedEnvelope, and while I don't exactly know why, it definitely is... hmmm.

I can understand why the ladies would like it... it conjures visions of turning a frog into a presentable guy, etc., so this might make a great gift for your girl.

In the meantime, here are some alternative uses I've come up with:

• paper weight
• a small projectile for throwing at things
• a magnifying glass-like sun reflector to start a fire if you are ever lost in the wilderness...
• a bizzare piece of decoration that that would confuse/amuse many who see it
• an interesting log decoration, if you pound it in permanently with a sledge hammer

One thing can sure be said about this metallic expression of frog love around this time of year - like the Geico gecko - nobody saw it coming...

If you're feeling like you love this frog already, get it here.

RedEnvelope Valentine's Day - Frog Prince

Couple's Table Topics

What do you miss most about being single?

"Hmmm. Ummm... being single?" As long as you have better answers than this, these Couple's Table Topics game is a cool way to get to know your girl/guy a little bit better.

Wait! These also make a great gift for you're family - they have a family version that asks questions about favorite vacations, etc. - great ways to stir the old memory pot with the mom, dad, sibs, kids, or 2nd relations... at just $24 they are a great way to kick-start some conversation.

I highly recommend this game.

Assorted Hand-Dipped Strawberries - $39.95

Hungry?

I am. I'm always hungry. And while I like to keep it healthy, its tough not to indulge sometimes...

Have you seen these hand-dipped chocolate strawberries at RedEnvelope? I used to work at Dairy Queen, and while chocolate dipped ice cream cones seem to have faded over the last decade or so, these are certainly reminiscent. Unlike ice cream cones, these strawberries are more healthy and taste better, depending on how much of a sweet tooth you have.

From the Red Envelope website - "These incredible, mouthwatering fruits are sure to have the crowds oohing and ahhing". Now, I'm not sure if there will be crowds where you are eating these, but there's a good chance you might attract one.

Add flowers and these strawberries, and you have the perfect gift for Valentine's Day.
Get them here.

Wine Fillled Truffles - $24.95

Wine filled chocolates - what a great idea.

I was recently watching football with a girl, drinking some beer, and eating some chili, and I forget what we were talking about. I'm not even sure how she got on the topic, but at one point, she distincly said, "If guys knew how far red wine and chocolates go with girls...". I'm not quite sure why this registered with me, but it did.

Anyway - if you're a guy and your reading this, you probably get the gist - get your girl some wine and chocolates this V-Day. And just because its way easier and way cooler than getting them separatly at a store, buy them in combination (literally, combined) at Red Envelope here.

Chocolates with wine inside - like she said, they go far.

World Time Clock - $79.95

What time is it again?

No matter where in the world you might be asking this question (if you always have trouble remembering, like I do), with this slick little contraption, you'll be able to tell in no time at all.

I'm not quite sure how it works, but from what I gather, you set the clock to an appropriate time, and then use some type of twisting methodology to quickly and painlessly check out the sun's location in different time-zones across the globe.

Convenient? No.

Easy to put in your pocket? Probably not.

But a great and fascinating discussion piece for the office? You bet.

It's also made of glossy black or stainless steel, and it actually does work flawlessly with the 24 most popular time zones across the globe. Definitely a great gift for your world traveler or your local yokel with family / significant others in far away places.

Floating Desktop Globe - $59.95

Where in the World...

Would you find one of these? Yes, its a globe. And yes, it magically floats (even it's actually magnetics that cause this mesmerizing effect).

What makes this product a great gift -

• It floats - this also means it bounces and wobbles with a slight touch - and for kids, if you have any, it means countless hours of fascination with how hard/far you can bump it and push it before it flies off its magnetic rails and falls down (it is slightly durable singularly for this purpose) - plus, its fun to get it back on its floating track
• It's very distracting - most people want to travel the world at some point in their life, and not only does this gift give them a visual, the floating-ness makes it easy to forget where they are and to imagine where they might be
• It's a great conversation piece - everybody loves travel, magnets, and things that can break, this is a just a classy / great way to present it

We are working on an oversize version of this approx. 4' by 4' and the only thing holding us up are the potential de-railing problems and the possible consequences that could follow from a 300lb ball rolling around the office. If this ever comes to fruition we will post it here.

Deluxe Valet - $99.95

1294 minutes... and counting.

That is my best estimate for time wasted this year trying to find my iPod, wallet, keys, company badge, and my ever-growing hand-written list of to-do's. In all disclosure, a lot of those minutes were racked-up while trying to find my watch, which was given to me by my wife the day of our wedding. I did find it - in the trunk of my car behind some old golf shoes.

Habitually I misplace stuff. Sometimes I throw stuff into the "junk drawer". Other times, I put my gear on the kitchen table. Still yet other times, I throw stuff into the refrigerator and washing machine - I must be really sleep deprived. My lack of organization is causing a lot of consternation, wasted time, and effort on trying to locate my basic everyday stuff.

Enter potential solutions:


Hire a Butler
I've thought about hiring a butler, but that seems too formal and costs too much money. Plus I don't have a castle, I'm not a Windsor, I didn't marry a princess... you get the idea.

However, if you do want to get a butler, click here





Get a Trapper Keeper
I used one of these handy-dandy organizers in grade school and it did work wonders for a while. First introduced in 1978, the trapper keeper scored big with teens. It stores a surprising amount of stuff, despite it's small dimensions. However, carrying this around for general organization probably won't work. Plus you'll lose a lot of cool points at the bar carrying around this vintage organization system. Or maybe you'll be a hit...

You can still buy these things here


Get a Valet
Here's a pretty sweet deal from RedEnvelope. $20 off their deluxe valet. Holds all of your gear in one stylish container. I like the iPod charger area.

Plus, the valet, which retails for $99 will cost a lot less than hiring Jeeves to keep track of your stuff. It is more expensive than a Trapper Keeper, but it is more stylish. Plus, in the final analysis, I'd pay a lot more for something like this if I could cut down on all of the time I spend trying to find my gear.

Crap, where did I place my tax documents, grocery list, intellectual property patents, business cards, etc... To get a valet, then click here.

Personalized Silver Compass - $89.95

I’m lost. No, seriously, I’m really lost right now.

It’s a humbling experience for many men to admit that they are lost. And with $120 Garmin units taunting you everywhere you go, it takes an entirely different perspective to realize – maybe what I need, is a silver compass – with my initials on it.

For those guys and girls who still enjoy a challenge, a compass is actually a really fun and creative way to navigate. Sure, the sun is supposed to tell you which way is east or west, but these days, who can really tell? Especially from noon to 5, when its always tilted a little bit to one side. Which was is up?

On a more serious note – if you know any adventures in your life, this compass makes a great gift. It looks great on the desk in the study, or in the dashboard of your truck. Just looking at it makes you want to pick it up… and once you do, you realize – you never knew which way north was before...

Available exclusively here.

Monogrammable Branders - $69.95

These are great. There is almost no other way to say it… where else can you get Monogrammable (that means you can customize the letters) Branding Irons. Now, an uneducated person might ask… for what?

For what? I’ll tell you for what…

For your steaks after you cook them. For your 2x4’s after you build your shed or your new dining room table. For your new front lawn after you cut the grass. For your front door, to let people know who lives there (way better than an address – that’s lame). For your mailbox. The inside of your leather jacket. Your wallet, if it’s a big wallet. That big bass you just caught on your last fishing trip, just to make sure everybody knows it was you who caught it. Your logs of wood, before you burn them, to let people know it was you who built the fire. Your garage door, you’re tool chest, and your tacklebox. Maybe even your new dog, although, maybe best to use paint there instead of actually branding them.

The point is – these are AWESOME. And if you don't already have one - you should buy one. Available exclusively here at Red Envelope.

Ballpark Pens - $179.95

If I close my eyes long enough, I can see it now - My Grandpa is sitting back in his chair, barely coherent to his surroundings, totally absorbed in the baseball game happening on the TV in front of him. His Red Sox hat on, he barely moves an inch for three hours, his only signs of consciousness an occasional grumble, and the constant self-talk about his teams’ performance. Now, I can’t remember much from when I was 7 years old, but I’ll never forget those games. Or the games my Dad used to take me and my brothers to all the time in Cincinnati.

The point is – there are very few great American traditions like the game of baseball. And old or young, people all over America have some of their fondest memories watching their team play in one stadium or another.

Many of these stadiums (i.e. Fenway Park) live in infamy for many of these fans. And even though they eventually get leveled and replaced by newer, more contemporary stadiums, their spirit lives on, thanks to Someone’s genius idea of making pens, cufflinks, and necklaces out of the seats and material of these great American icons.

For the rabid fan in your life - these make great gifts. Red Envelope carries the pens here, as well as the cufflinks and the necklaces below.

Red Envelope - All About Gifting

With so many posts about our products, we wanted to make sure everybody knew what Red Envelope was all about -

We're all about giving

You give to affirm a friendship, to celebrate a new beginning, to thank a colleague, to honor family, to connect with a loved one, to commend successes, to mark passages, to give a little encouragement — or just because it's a joy to give.

From tokens of gratitude to expressions of love, as your partner in giving, RedEnvelope offers a unique and wide-ranging collection of thoughtful gifts for every occasion and everyone on your list — around the clock, all year round.

We only select quality products — many of which are exclusive to RedEnvelope — that are unusual, surprising and beautifully designed to ensure the gifts you give create a special moment when they are opened — whether it's a knowing smile, heartfelt laughter, or a sentimental tear or two.